Gertie's 67th Birthday

Disclaimer: Long not very interesting story - my humor is subtle.

My mom celebrated her birthday on Monday - she is now 67 years old. When one is 67 this is how you celebrate your birthday...
My mom told me the night before that she would be coming over to my house by 8:30 am so that I could take Dagney to school and she would do a lesson with Beth and Remi. Due to the fact that she is now late to everything she did not make it to my house instead she showed up at the Walker Kindergarten area to "surprise" me and the girls. I was surprised. We then went to my house where instead of giving the girls a lesson she tells me we are going to go shopping at Kohls. I still have not taken a shower but it is her birthday so why not. At Kohls, Remi and Beth act like 2 year olds and while we are in the back of the store, Remi takes off running with Beth trailing behind. I finally catch up to the in the front of the store by the check out area where I grab Beth by the hand and yank her and Remi out to the car screaming and crying at the top of their lungs. Nothing like causing a scene when you have yet to take a shower. They were still crying when my mom joined us in the car (she found something to purchase) that she accused me of hitting them. Yes, I am a child abuser. (Actually all I said to them is that I was not going to take them shopping again for a whole week -- that is what set off the second round of wailing.)
For some reason their sad faces caused my mom so much grief she took them to McDonalds for lunch. I thought it set a good example for the girls. At McDonalds my mom got so flustered ordering food for the children (she refuses to buy Happy Meals because she is convinced that they are overpriced) making sure they got fries and a cheeseburger - no pickles or onions (Remi) and McNuggets with carmel dipping sauce - no apples (Beth) as well as ordering me a salad even though I asked for a Chicken burger (its better for me) that she totally forgot to order herself any food. By the way a hamburger, large fries, 6 piece chicken nugget and 2 drinks costs around $7 -- 2 Happy meals run $7 as well -- shhhhh don't tell Gertie.)
After lunch we go to my house to can beans, make pies and peal a box of peaches. Remember this is her birthday.
For dinner that evening (at my house) we have frozen lasagne and chile relleno. Which in an of itself is kind of funny but the best part of it is that my mom does not eat chile relleno - never has an never will - and that is what she bought at the store for us to eat for her birthday dinner. My mom finished her day by helping Dagney with her first homework assignment.
Since, I did not provide a fabulous day for my mother, my penance is to escort her on September 27th to the Relief Society Broadcast in Boulder City. I have never been to a broadcast before but really could it be that bad?